i know i know IVE ALREADY FAILED AS A BLOGGER! but...

:| you have to forgive me, I've been going through a whole bunch of shit!! I just been thinking ALOT lately. Usually i tend to over think thingss :/ and theres been so many times where i wanted to come here and type my issues but idk I GUESS I'M JUST SCARED. I must be afraid to admit my flaws and all that shit outlouddddd!! but here i go bare with meee :) Here is the MAIN thing that has been going through my mind:

1. Simply put I AM SPRUNG. Yes, Yess all of my friends think im a fool and i admit i do too. but theres just sooo many things i cant explain!! WELL here's a little background information: -I broke up with my ex in November, and we went out for almost a year-it was my first real relationshipppp-Although i initiated the break up i didnt want to -He was becomingg one of them jerk cocky niggas-&&honestly was startin to half step it and neglect me (im guessing its cuz he didnt get any ass! >:D ) -I GAVE INTO TEMPTATION IN FEBRUARY AND HE CHEATED ON HIS GURL WITH ME -now i didnt feel bad at all. this trick used to be my friend(he didnt know) but i have like child pics wit me and her and all that. I GREW UP WITH HER, lol please mind that im still young and THIS ISNT ONE OF THOSE CRAZY"she was my gurl in elementary so even now in my 30's i hate any bitch who dates my ex!" stories!POINT BLANK: -I was in an unrealistic state of mind and figured that would be his break through point and he'd realize the error of his ways and run back to me! ^^but =.= that shit did not work!! && it only left him thinkin he could have me whenever he wanted....even when he had a gurl. && at a certain point i brought up the idea of a relationship && he wasnt down but he still didnt forget to to drop the idea of making out... >:O

NOW PLEASEEE UNDERSTAND THERE ARE SOOO MANY THINGS THAT I HAVENT TOUCHED BASE SOO YOU ALL ARE ONLY FAMILAR WITH THIS DICKISH SIDE OF THIS NIGGA. Since i never shared any of our good time please take in consideration that he isnt as much a a jerk that im making him out to be, but DO NOT BE MISLEAD THIS NIGGA IS A FCKN JERK!!!!!!

SOOOO GUYSS *cricket* lol IM ASKIN YOU WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO GET OVER THIS FOOL?!?
BECUASE as much as i do want him, &&trust me i do, I REFUSE to be with him until he GROWS HE FCK UP!!!
&& Lol please dont suggest that wendy williams shit.... "The best way to get OVER somebody is to get UNDER another "
because frankly i do want another relationship but.... I DO NOT WANT MY NEXT KISS TO BE A REGRET... (yes my last kiss was with that fool in febuary... -.- YES A LONG ASSS TIME!!!!!!)


Soo any suggestions..? :/